Seasonal Nuisances

first published in 2008

During the past half year I haven’t been watching the telly a lot, but now that there was the Christmas break I had a bit of slouch time around my hands, and have been just hanging around in my beloved armchair, zapping through the channels. And all of a sudden something that I knew, that everybody knows, which even has become a cliché, hit home. Now that I looked at everything in a more analysing way I realised HOW rubbish these adverts are. Right before Christmas it’s all about fragrance, toys and food. But bang on New Years day it’s all about slimming down.

I’m writing this because: Please, please, please! Don’t fall into those advert traps. I’m going to make it as vivid as possible to remind you that these people want to sell something; they are not the least bit interested into your wellbeing! We know it! Of course we know it! But, could be working, couldn’t it? Might be … would be so wonderful if it would…

Remember, all the food adverts, the sauces pouring in slow motion from spoons onto caramelised somethings and glazed don’tknowwhats getting flamed with brandy. Tables bending under the weight of the food and everybody is so happy. Nobody is bloated or overeating or overweight. And then WHAM! ...You have to fit into those jeans which are two numbers too small. Buy a bigger one, for crying out loud!

Did you ever manage to read the thin line written under the Kellogs advert. The one where an actually not too chubby lady tries to get to her lovely red shoes while wearing these damn jeans. It only shows for a brief moment and reads something like: Only if eaten alongside a sensible diet. Sweetheart, if I’m eating a sensible diet then I lose weight anyway, then I don’t need to spoil my day with that stuff.

However, the advert which made me really furious was about some pharmacy which sells scales and devices to measure the body fat – from £9.99. We have such a thing, and it’s not working! There is a lot of black magic around these measurements, I can’t even list where all the hiccups are lying. But Detlef researched it, and he is pretty darn good in these things. He explained it to me when we got this thing as sort of an experiment, and it was so much to learn about it that I forgot half of it instantly.

We got it when we realised that we actually improved our shape without changing weight, and wanted to see if it is possible to measure that we gained muscle and lost fat. And this thing is measuring the weirdest numbers. Especially in me being a woman. It gives you percentages of fat, muscle and water. However, throughout the cycle I retain or lose about 3 lbs of water. As a body can’t be more than 100% - if water goes up the others must come down. Losing the water, all of a sudden the fat shoots up again. Probably one might see realistic changes with only using it once a quarter. But that’s not what we do, is it? We are told that we have to lose the weight NOW, QUICKLY and that this is the device to help.

Probably I should do my own advert at this point and remind you of some of my older articles: Have a look at ‘The Way We Are’ and ‘The Little Tale’ which hopefully will become a starting point for a healthier perception of yourselves. I know: It’s a bit of a contradiction of me telling you to start believing into yourselves and stop listening to others…

So listen one more time … You have it all in you already! If you are honest to yourselves, sitting alone in a cosy corner with your favourite drink and dimmed lights … then you know what you want, what you need and what you have to do to get it!

Nobody needs to tell you that, you just will know. Lucky you if you find that you are absolutely fine with the way your life goes, for all the others usually the scary bit is the: ‘What you have to do to get it’ part. There are all these ‘BUTs’ that might make you stop thinking about it, before you even started. You might have to change your lifestyle, have to be hard on others in order to find the time, have to ask for help or at least moral support, your social environment might change, and if you fail there is embarrassment involved. And it will be hard work, nothing to be done in a jiffy – and, the scariest thing of all: It will never end!

To be successful you will have to commit to it for good!

But you know what? If you are really true to yourself, than this last one is the ONLY real hiccup holding you back. It’s a big one, I admit. However, if you feel a true commitment to your quest, all the other things will fade. They still need dealing with, but they CAN be dealt with because YOU WANT to. All it really needs is ‘That you want to!’

And no product in the world, however expensive, will be able to help you to get to that state of mind!

What are you still doing here? You promised me to follow your own instincts. Off you go into your cosy corner, get your drink, dim the light and start thinking and dreaming!

Well, and when you have come to a conclusion … you might want to consider browsing through the lifestyle section to get some ideas on where to start, and the nutrition and sport section might give you some inspiration as well. And when you get an idea which I didn’t come up with: Write it down! And send it to me!