'Cool Dude' clothes for the elderly

We all have complained about the fashion industry not catering for the still young 40+ lady. One either becomes laughing stock featuring the 'I'm desperately young look' wearing teenage clothing, or is doomed to follow the silver poodle approach displaying dignity grey perm, and pale blue floral skirt with differently floral knitted top, we might get away with purple during days we feel adventurous. The only way out seems to be 'American high society' featuring the business suit for work, and shift dress with pearl necklace for the rest of it. I now decided to go for the laughing stock version but raised it to a different level in recruiting my wardrobe mainly in the goth shops of Camden Market. The trick lies in not to be bothered about what the others think. It's cheap, it can be dolled up and toned down, and most importantly: It's a lot of fun!

Now it turns out that men have the same problem. This half decade between 45 and 50 seems to be a crucial period which determines future style and hubby was determined to not give in to a future with a belt line lies above the bellybutton, pyjama striped shirts, and pink polo shirts for the adventurous days.

Jeans wise he always was a Levi's man clinging to the good old 501 baggy ones. Gentlemen, give the boot cut a try or even a slim line, they are cut quite comfortably these days and the materials are better balanced. It makes a hell of a difference. And then the question of shirts. Oh my goodness.... so much lumberjack and surf (the equivalent of beach holiday for ladies) going on. But there are gems around. Check out Zara and River Island for guys - Yes! There is a Zara for guys. And the catalog for shirts even shows the different versions how shirts are supposed to be worn these days. BTW: Great source for leather jackets is 187 Portobello Road, London

And there is good news for bodybuilding ladies featuring round rear, big legs and strong arms.  GAP guys and Zara men have small sizes in their range and the latter use stretchy materials. I eventually found shorts (GAP) and blouses/shirts (Zara) that fit me. Perfect for my jungle trip, and they look better on me. Ha!

Beauty for Oldies

And another Good Morning to you! This again will be a bit of a hectic day, so that I decided to present you with other people's wisdom, rather than mine.

Yesterday I had to be rather glamorous for Red Nose Day and I dared a make-up with a lot of silvery greens and dark eyebrows. I think it worked rather well with the dark top hat, but was utterly scary without it.

So today I have a photo shoot and I am after dark and moody. Hmmm?!? Will have to see how that goes.

What I found on my quest for inspiration were videos containing make-up advice from Lisa Eldridge who is a professional make-up artist. I think she is brilliant and she is somebody who eventually addresses the matter of older skin and slipping eyelids.

So here are the links to her work:
Lisa Eldridge: Anti Ageing Make-up tips - Foundation - Concealer - Powder - Blush
Lisa Eldridge: Anti Ageing Make-up tips - Eyes - Brows - Lips

Gotta crack on now collecting my clothes and props.
Have a fantastic weekend, and don't be dull!

Ta ta

Tummy & Co

First published in 2009 as Lifestyle article. In the new ILP setup however, it fits better into the Health and Beauty section.

Tummy, ABS, Stomach, Midriff, Waist and Belly, only boobs and willies carry more names and thus we seem to consider it the third most important part of our bodies, most of the time it being a nuisance. This alone I felt was incentive enough to write another article on the matter, but now I am receiving an increasing amount of emails, commenting on my tummy videos with a cry for more help.

Apparently I have become some sort of authority for the midriff area and as you all know: I am vain! So let me indulge in a bit more of lecturing.

Actually, there is no difference between belly fat and the wobbly bits arranged on other areas, except of one though, and that is age related. Over time legs get thinner, while bellies get bigger. ‘Leg’ people might become ‘tummy’ people – or more likely both, while ‘tummy’ people will become bigger ‘tummy’ people.

Shapes

But not all tummies look the same. Especially from India I get emails saying that they are generally thin just calling some fat around the middle their own. In Europe it is often combined with a bit of overall chubbiness, and for English gals it usually goes along with huge boobs. Generally one can assume that the ladies have it sitting more on the hips extending into the rear while the boys just grow towards the front. So the different types of fat distribution seem to be firstly a matter of culture – a lot of Indian people are small framed – and a matter of gender.

Women are supposed to carry weight around their bum and legs as energy stores during their period of fertility. Around the bottom area it doesn’t pose as much of a threat for the cardio system, as it does when accumulated in the upper body - hence the higher mortality rate of overweight men. Once the lady is past her best off date and fertility is not the issue anymore, the fat all of a sudden subsides from the legs and due to reduced energy needs, it beginning to accumulate around the belly.

Given all these differences it becomes obvious that there is no single simple solution… well, there is a single solution, but unfortunately it is not simple! 

About Quick fixes

The one thing you will not get from me is quick fixes, because there aren’t any which work for good. Quick fixes not just only don’t work, they have a huge negative impact on the confidence. Every quick fix that backfires is conceived as a failure and makes things even harder the next time round.

So before you start into a weight loss, fitness programme you have to ask yourself if you want a short term solution like needing to fit into that dress and not bothering afterwards, or if you want a change for good.

I am not judging: Both are valid reasons! I am just saying – if it is the first one, then I am not the best person to ask advice from. However as long as you know what you want and not expecting more then this is absolutely OK.

If you are hoping for a long term solution, then you have to make your peace with the fact that you will have to change your life. You will have to make time! Time, that you will have to take away from other areas, and that means that you will change your life in a way that it affects other people. You will have to be strong, determined, selfish and stubborn at times. If you embark on the journey in that frame of mind you already have come a long way. I only discovered it as I went along and the insight sometimes threw me off my course.

The Path

Following somebody else’s rules is like living somebody else’s life. We are all individuals and much too different in our physical and psychological set up. The only advice you should take on from this whole article is:

Find your own way!

Ooof…
Told you! No simple solution! 

Experiments

Finding your own way does not mean that you are alone, though. There are so many things which influence the outcome: Food, sport, time and lifestyle in general.

I see this as a journey during which I try things out. The gym and the kitchen are my laboratories and I am my guinea-pig. Listening to others, observing, making sense of it - so many things sound incredible but don't really fit the picture - testing out the promising ones and taking on board what works while discarding the rest.

This implicates that one has to develop a certain pleasure for playing with stuff, a genuine interest into the own body and life altogether.

The most critical ingredient for the recipe is time. A lot of things which could work are going down the drain because of the ‘time issue’. Be honest, how often did you hear or even used this reason yourself for NOT doing something. However, when things are starting to fall into place one might even find that some of the time invested is now flowing back.

It starts with the body

My top credo is: You only can work with your body and not against it!

This is what all the quick fixes ignore. They are overriding one mechanism of the whole chain of events which is taking place in the body, creating a short cut.  But the body is smart, it balances it out by adapting the other mechanisms and everything goes back to normal. This way quick fixes only create a short term success plus a huge negative impact: Now the whole system is working on a different level, the body has learned something about your behaviour and will outsmart you faster the next time.

So the task is to learn the rules of the game that your body is playing.

Playing the game

Meet the players

Muscle
	Fat	Energy

Learn the rules

1. Every single cell in the body, whether it is fat of muscle, burns energy
2. Calories is the name for the energy (actually it is a unit with which the energy is measured, but let’s not get too scientific)
3. Food is energy that goes in
4. Movement is energy that comes out
5. The body needs a basic amount of energy to sustain life (basic metabolism), that is the energy burnt in the cells when you rest
6. The basic metabolism of an average person is about 1300 calories (depending on number of cells)
7. Usual daily activity, walking, sitting, thinking, housework increases total calories needed to aproximately 2000 for women, 2300 for men - not fair, I know!
8. Muscle cells need more energy than fat cells – you might want to remember that one!
9. 1kg of fat is worth 7000 calories - Eeek!
10. Muscle as well as fat are the energy storages of the body
11. When calorie (energy) intake is reduced during diet, the muscle is more likely to be used to make up for the difference than fat… this is the meanest rule of all!
12. Muscles are not just moving and bringing us from A to B. When stressed (like during sport) they produce all sorts of chemicals which make the mechanisms of the body work well together.
13. Skin is shrinking slower than the fat cells

… and what do we learn from that?

It is good to have a lot of cells – just not fatty ones

- the body needs a minimum amount of fat to be sustainable, though -

Fat people often claim that they have a low metabolism – cannot be true (see above): Compared to a slim person they have just too many cells (this was actually measured in an experiment during a TV show)

Success comes slowly – that’s what your skin is telling you

Fat cells do not vanish evenly, and they do not vanish from the places you want them to vanish from. It is up to the body to choose the cell that goes, and the body has no beauty conscience! It usually does it in patches causing orange peel. And the skin which usually would hold it all tight, becomes saggy and needs time to shrink.

Hence one has to live with the fact that there will be a period of time when the scale and the waistband say ‘Yippee!’ while the mirror insists that one looks more horrible than ever before. Patience is key during these times, enhancing blood flow by exercise, good skin care and going ahead slowly, slowly… The slower the process, the better the chances the skin will get tight again.

The more cells we lose the harder it gets – that is so mean

Well, we don’t actually lose fat cells they just shrivel away and go to sleep. However, the fewer awake cells we remain from dieting, the less energy we need, so we would have to diet even harder. Low fat content is almost impossible to sustain just by dieting and the diet would quickly become imbalanced and unhealthy.

The harder it gets the more muscle is used up – even meaner

It’s much easier for the body to use muscle rather than fat when on a diet. That is why diets make us feel weak. The closer the daily calories get to the basic metabolism (that is the 1300 calories mentioned above) the more it nips into the muscles and not the fat. A lot of  those ‘Lose 5kg in 2 weeks’ diets suggest around 1000 calories per day. A few things they don’t tell you, though:

• The diet usually does not contain salt, so the body instantly loses at least 2kg of water worth a kilo each. Even if you drink a lot – what is good, in a way – the body can’t keep it in, it goes straight through… Yay! 2 days - two kilos - unfortunately no fat, just water.
• Usually you are asked to drink at least 2l of plain water. When you drink too much of it you are even draining more salts from your body, dehydrating even more. In the end you may have lost about 3kg of water which was previously stored in your cells.
• 1 kilo of fat is worth 7000 calories. If the diet reduces calories from 2000 to 1000 per day one can lose a kilo in one week – However, 1000 is far below the basic metabolism and thus one will lose mainly muscle and not fat. Additionally muscle is heavier than fat, so on the scale this will look really great.
• One might feel great because the psychological effect is so big and one might eventually fit back into this particular piece of clothing. But two weeks is about the limit that the body can take this. One will be happy that it is over and will gradually fall back into the old habits. Water will come back on first, and then fat will build up.

Wait a minute! We just established that mainly muscle will be gone… and now fat is building up? That would mean that with every extreme diet I am replacing muscle with fat cells…

Yep! That is how it works! 

Fact!
All the above accumulates in one fact:

The only sustainable way to manage the energy levels for the body and to encourage the skin to become tight again is to replace fat cells by muscle cells – and not the other way round.

And that means Sport! 

What brings us back to:

Determination ...

Try out everything! Go running, take up dance classes, do boxing, rowing, weight lifting, swimming, cycling, do it in a Gym, with friends, alone,… but don’t give in. We have this perception of people doing their sport regularly without faltering – and they are the good ones. Rubbish!

I am not a cardio person, so I have developed a cycle throughout the year which keeps me going. I hate running, but in spring I am yearning the fresh air and for a short period of time I go out for runs with a friend, although I like doing things alone – running I only do with her. Then my enthusiasm fades and I go back to indoor rowing. I like to try out classes, although I hate having to be some place on time, parking car, not forgetting half my kit. I am still hoping to find one that I really like. The thing I continuously do is my Bodybuilding, but even there I have times of lesser performance. The important thing is that I pick it up time and time again.

Time and selfishness ...

Consider yourself as important as everybody else in your family! I see so many mums devoted to their children, scared the kids might miss out on something should she fail to be the perfect chauffeur to the various events the little ones are booked to. However, in all the well meaning she might forget what kind of example she is setting:

Son: Look for a wife that is a similar idiot as I am. She should take it all on her shoulders and the lack of responsibility I taught you, she should respect.

Daughter: Be the same obedient idiot that I am and take it all on your shoulders, otherwise you never will get a husband. And because life will get hard for you soon enough, let me spoil you rotten.

 Hmmm?!

I do acknowledge that parents wish the best of headstarts for their kids, but it will be you to decide how much sacrifice you are willing to give. If you are an unhappy bundle of a person... it might be time to get the rest of the family into the boat. I don’t say it is easy, but if you want to succeed you have to find this me-time. However, who am I to advice? You chose to embark on the journey, you will have to find your own way! 

Experiments …

If I would call myself experimental in my choices of sport, I wouldn’t know what to call my kitchen activities. There was a time when I stopped cooking altogether. It was one of my favourite hobbies, another one is eating! I had a rather reduced fun-less diet which made me realise that I actually did lose weight, but that I never would sustain this. 

So, I went back into the kitchen and started to play with food, stripped my original recipes and swapped ingredients until it was a healthier fun dish again. Now I have a list of ingredients I can live with for good and from which I can derive new recipes whenever I feel like it, I have an array of sports interests which I am attending to whenever and however it suits my lifestyle and I have a few tricks to bring me back on track should I slip, like the Sugar Experiment.

To wrap it up!

I set out to write a sport article and again it became a lifestyle one. As usual I am addressing women - we are a ladies website after all - but again, everything applies to our better halves as well. As a matter of fact some of the emails I get are from male online friends and I am proud and happy that they trust my expertise. Apart from a bit of testosterone we are not really that different, the mechanisms are the same: One cannot separate sport, from nutrition, from other lifestyle choices. That is as true for men as it is for women. So again it turns out:

We are sitting in one boat,
all we have to do is to choose a direction!

---

Related Links:

• Tummy videos
• What sport to choose
• Pushing the limits
• Nutrition: Let’s get started
• The big sugar experiment

Iron Ladies

first published in 2009

There is a difference between being tired and fatigue. Everybody is getting tired at the end of the day, and once in a while we still are in the mornings after a too short night of sleep. We may feel like an afternoon nap, or a lie in – that’s all rather normal. 

Why so tired?
With fatigue I mean feeling constantly worn down. Being tired even when the night was long enough; the feeling that although the sleep was deep and dreamless one hasn’t slept at all. One is able to get through the daily tasks, even finds a laugh when chatting with the girls, but there is always this feeling of having to push through; there is no natural flow, one is clumsy and forgetful and creativity has left the brain.

So one is checking the calendar and is somewhat relieved to see that it is ‘the week before’. Thank God, it’s just one of those months, and there will be payback time: When this will be over the sun usually is shining a bit brighter, even. But not this time! So the search continues: Well, a lot of people have a cold: I may come down with something; it’s almost spring: This change of seasonal climate is stressful on the body and one is worn down by central heating and lack of oxygen. 

I need a pill!
The re-installed power walking sessions, however and the garden work are not helping, in contrary: Instead of a rosy, fresh air complexion I look grey like an old bed sheet, the hair is lifeless, and I only have to look at food for it to appear on my thighs. The head clouds are getting bigger and the workload that lies ahead becomes ever more overwhelming: One already has to think about summer holidays and it’s only those few month to squeeze everything in – the garden, Easter, some travels to see family, preparing the BBQ place to be ready for the May Bank Holidays, sport definitely needs picking up and sh... the windows and the garden fence need painting, and all I want to do is to sit in my armchair with biscuits and tea and stare at the wall – even choosing a movie from the DVD collection is too much of a decision. It would be so great to have a pill to make it all go away. Well, maybe there is one: 

Iron!
Iron is needed to build the haemoglobin in the red blood cells, and that is the stuff which is transporting the oxygen that we breathe in, into to cells of the body where it gets burnt and turned into energy, so that the cell can do its job.

How it works

The burning process is using the same principles like a fireplace. In order to heat a room or cook some food two things are needed: a fuel like gas or coal and oxygen. Trying to light the fuel in a vacuum won’t work as the oxygen is missing; there has to be oxygen to turn the fuel into energy. This can easily be observed when extinguishing a candle with a candle snuffer. As soon as it is put over the candle, the flame uses the leftovers of the oxygen and then just stops burning.

This mechanism explains where the lack of energy comes from when iron is missing in the body. Iron means oxygen and if it is missing our fire has gone out or is about to, hence the body wants to save the meagre remains for vital organs, goes into energy saving mode and tries to put us to sleep. Additionally it signals for help. Once in a while it might make the heart work hard in the hope to get more blood pumped and hence more oxygen supplied - one then can feel the beat scarily loud and clear, or it may ask for fuel, meaning food, sometimes in the shape of weird cravings. Well, and since the body won’t waste energy to keep skin and hair nice, one might become rather flaky and ‘beige’. Although the typical pale complexion of an anaemic will come at a later stage.

Oh, what a bad combination: Wanting nothing more than hanging around and eating. So why on earth do we lose iron? It’s something really rather solid, how does it leave the body? 

When things go wrong

The iron lives in the red blood cells, which when everything goes right, live around 3-4 months and then get recycled and rebuild, if something goes wrong the iron gets lost. There are five main mechanisms involved in the iron trade where things can go wrong:

• the body is not able to build enough red blood cells to replace the dying ones  – then something is usually wrong with the bone marrow,

• the body is not able to absorb the iron that it gets delivered with the food – then something is wrong with the intestines, similar to celiac disease,
  
  
• the body is in need for more iron, like during pregnancy,
  
  
• the body is losing a huge amount of blood, like during an accident or operation, or
  
  
• the body is losing small amounts of blood, like during menstruation.

Regarding the first two, one would not just feel a bit off whack but rather sick. The underlying condition would cause further symptoms and doctors will take care of the situation. Additionally the symptom would probably appear rather quickly. The same is true for pregnancy during which iron levels should be monitored and balance out. 

Balanced Diet
Well, when losing a large amount of blood the iron levels are usually the least of ones problems; this period thing however is very, very sneaky! Every month one is losing just a tad bit of iron, and although a lot of information sources are claiming that with a balanced diet one should have replaced the missing bits by the end of the cycle, I personally cannot confirm that. ‘Balanced’ for health people usually means ‘utterly healthy’.

In my book ‘balanced’ reads as ‘mostly being a good girl, but liking my coffees and teas and dairies’ – and those are all things that inhibit iron to be consumed by the body. Meaning that one can eat as much as one likes, but the body can’t use it because a lot of Chemistry goes on between the iron and the foods and hence it is passed straight through the intestines and does not get digested as it should be. Additionally iron from food sources comes in all sorts if chemical compounds and the body is rather specific about which ones it wants. Just nibbling a rusty nail as suggested by some urban myths won’t do the trick. 

A warning!
Well, and then of course one has to give a warning that too much iron can be harmful, and even if some additional intake is indicated it may upset the stomach or cause indigestion. Hence I am taking this little pill before I go to sleep when my stomach is not entirely empty, but there is enough time between food and iron intake to not have the two interfere with each other. 

My experience

I stumbled across iron a good two decades ago. I was young, I was healthy and I was tired down to depression. At that time I was researching vitamins to find out if they could have a positive impact on my allergies (which some of them have), and when I read the list of symptoms for iron deficiency I thought I had a mirror held to my face.

So I gave it a shot, didn’t have any side effects except of a bit of indigestion for a couple of days until the body got used to it, and felt an improvement instantly. After two days my energy came back and within a week I was my old self again.

I took a six week course as advised on the pack and then a couple of years later I ran into the same trap. It happens so slowly that one doesn’t realise it. Other conditions like sleep deprivation due too much partying, work or a cold can have a similar effect and hide the real cause. Again I took the pills  with the same outcome: Instant relief!

I then checked with my GP, got off the drug for a month, had the blood levels measured which were in the lower third of the range – so nothing bothersome or unusual – but I already felt the lack again. He then confirmed that should I feel like needing it, I could take this low dose continuously without causing any harm. He as well told me that some people react to lower levels earlier than others, something that I found confirmed in the book ‘Well-being for Women’ by Helen Lawrence (Geddes & Grosset, 2004, p.18)

Regarding the duration of the course it seems that my body is telling me when enough is enough. I tend to all of a sudden forget taking them, so I am stopping intake altogether until the next time when I am wondering why I am so tired and if I might have caught a cold... 

Will I ever learn?

This time round I was so proud to have survived Christmas well and thought that this would give me a brilliant head start into summer. Ha, I’d wished! Mid January I started feeling a bit drained, beginning February I had my holidays when I usually slip horribly food wise – what is ok as I am preparing for it – and after that I crushed. I didn’t realise what was going on until mid March when the downhill trend became more and more obvious. Within these six weeks my weight went up about 3 kg adding an additional 21,000 calories to my diet which I now have to get rid of again. If somebody however would have dared saying a word about my biscuit consumption, I would have gathered the last of my strength and would have gone for a kill. There was no control whatsoever. Now three days in I am back to my normal diet without any problems, liking my salt less bread, the eggs and bananas.

Well apparently I am an iron lady in many ways!

Stupid Hormones!

Seasonal Nuisances

first published in 2008

During the past half year I haven’t been watching the telly a lot, but now that there was the Christmas break I had a bit of slouch time around my hands, and have been just hanging around in my beloved armchair, zapping through the channels. And all of a sudden something that I knew, that everybody knows, which even has become a cliché, hit home. Now that I looked at everything in a more analysing way I realised HOW rubbish these adverts are. Right before Christmas it’s all about fragrance, toys and food. But bang on New Years day it’s all about slimming down.

I’m writing this because: Please, please, please! Don’t fall into those advert traps. I’m going to make it as vivid as possible to remind you that these people want to sell something; they are not the least bit interested into your wellbeing! We know it! Of course we know it! But, could be working, couldn’t it? Might be … would be so wonderful if it would…

Remember, all the food adverts, the sauces pouring in slow motion from spoons onto caramelised somethings and glazed don’tknowwhats getting flamed with brandy. Tables bending under the weight of the food and everybody is so happy. Nobody is bloated or overeating or overweight. And then WHAM! ...You have to fit into those jeans which are two numbers too small. Buy a bigger one, for crying out loud!

Did you ever manage to read the thin line written under the Kellogs advert. The one where an actually not too chubby lady tries to get to her lovely red shoes while wearing these damn jeans. It only shows for a brief moment and reads something like: Only if eaten alongside a sensible diet. Sweetheart, if I’m eating a sensible diet then I lose weight anyway, then I don’t need to spoil my day with that stuff.

However, the advert which made me really furious was about some pharmacy which sells scales and devices to measure the body fat – from £9.99. We have such a thing, and it’s not working! There is a lot of black magic around these measurements, I can’t even list where all the hiccups are lying. But Detlef researched it, and he is pretty darn good in these things. He explained it to me when we got this thing as sort of an experiment, and it was so much to learn about it that I forgot half of it instantly.

We got it when we realised that we actually improved our shape without changing weight, and wanted to see if it is possible to measure that we gained muscle and lost fat. And this thing is measuring the weirdest numbers. Especially in me being a woman. It gives you percentages of fat, muscle and water. However, throughout the cycle I retain or lose about 3 lbs of water. As a body can’t be more than 100% - if water goes up the others must come down. Losing the water, all of a sudden the fat shoots up again. Probably one might see realistic changes with only using it once a quarter. But that’s not what we do, is it? We are told that we have to lose the weight NOW, QUICKLY and that this is the device to help.

Probably I should do my own advert at this point and remind you of some of my older articles: Have a look at ‘The Way We Are’ and ‘The Little Tale’ which hopefully will become a starting point for a healthier perception of yourselves. I know: It’s a bit of a contradiction of me telling you to start believing into yourselves and stop listening to others…

So listen one more time … You have it all in you already! If you are honest to yourselves, sitting alone in a cosy corner with your favourite drink and dimmed lights … then you know what you want, what you need and what you have to do to get it!

Nobody needs to tell you that, you just will know. Lucky you if you find that you are absolutely fine with the way your life goes, for all the others usually the scary bit is the: ‘What you have to do to get it’ part. There are all these ‘BUTs’ that might make you stop thinking about it, before you even started. You might have to change your lifestyle, have to be hard on others in order to find the time, have to ask for help or at least moral support, your social environment might change, and if you fail there is embarrassment involved. And it will be hard work, nothing to be done in a jiffy – and, the scariest thing of all: It will never end!

To be successful you will have to commit to it for good!

But you know what? If you are really true to yourself, than this last one is the ONLY real hiccup holding you back. It’s a big one, I admit. However, if you feel a true commitment to your quest, all the other things will fade. They still need dealing with, but they CAN be dealt with because YOU WANT to. All it really needs is ‘That you want to!’

And no product in the world, however expensive, will be able to help you to get to that state of mind!

What are you still doing here? You promised me to follow your own instincts. Off you go into your cosy corner, get your drink, dim the light and start thinking and dreaming!

Well, and when you have come to a conclusion … you might want to consider browsing through the lifestyle section to get some ideas on where to start, and the nutrition and sport section might give you some inspiration as well. And when you get an idea which I didn’t come up with: Write it down! And send it to me!

Head Cold

I don't know if this word exists, but I think it should. I mean this type of cold where the head feels heavy and like a pressure cooker between the eyes, one is really really tired and the nose is running although it is blocked.
It starts with a bit of sneezing and feeling knackered and then things go very quickly until one feels like hit by a train.
Chest cold is different, it starts with a bit of a sore throat and possibly a swollen gland, a bit of coughing and then if it is getting really bad the voice goes entirely.
I'm not really interested in what sort of virus or bacteria is causing it, I only want to get rid of them - quickly.

Rule of Thumb

There is one rough rule of thumb, though: First symptoms are usually caused by virus, at that time everything slippery flowing from nose and throat is rather clear. That's when doctors say: Go home and have a rest. The silly virus the body has to fight off all by itself, the only thing possible is to give the body some support.
Everything yellowish is usually caused by bacteria which were happy to find a body with a virus damaged immune system. It's a bit as if you just fought off a pack of wolves and now the vultures are closing in.
So if a cold stays for several days without getting better and then turning yellow, it's time to see the doctor. Vultures can be fought off by antibiotics.
This article is not really scientific and entirely based on my experience. I just thought I'd let you know what helped me well.

My Diagnosis

Head Cold as depicted above

Tasks

Avoiding bacteria!

Reduce number of virus!

Avoiding Bacteria

Yay, that is the easiest bit. Just don't go where they are. Well, I know it's almost impossible to do so when you have kids. But seriously:

Don't go to work!

There is no point in getting into contact with more people than necessary. There are at least a few who will carry a nasty bug. And it's a bit unfair as well to spread your virus.

Avoid the doctors!

That's the place where wolves and vultures feel at their happiest. I wouldn't go close to a waiting room unless my sinuses were blocked with custard. By then it can't get worse anyway. But not a second earlier.

Fighting the Virus

There are two types of measures. One is to support the immune system so it can fight the virus better, the other is to actively reduce the number of virus that sit on and in the body.

Supporting the Immune System

Have a rest whenever possible! It is amazing what a bit of sleep can do for you. The body just doesn't have to bother about keeping temperature and heart rate and everything else at bay. So all the energy that is available can be used to build immune cells which will be able to attack and digest the virus.

Eat and drink healthily! Well you should do that anyway, but at times of illness the body usually signals needs by having certain cravings - mostly salty things like soup - so it should have it. Have a lot of Vit C! I hit two flies with one stone by having Multivitamin drink with added Vit C powder. I take 1g of Vit C three times a day. The powder I get from Germany online, unfortunately the site is in German. Alternatively almost every food store has some kind of a chewable pill, usually in a 500mg dosage. Have Paracetamol! Paracetamol has a bit of an inflammatory feature, which helps infected sinuses and since the whole thing usually goes along with a headache anyway, it is quite a relief. Be careful when you use Lemsip to drink. There is at least one version that already has Paracetamol in it. Read the labels for the daily dose and then make sure you won't overdose from using different sources of Paracetamol.

Reducing the Number of Viruses

Now that are the fun bits. The place where these buggers can be found is naturally in the sinuses and the mouth area - which are not easily cleaned. Unfortunately they are sitting inside, hence cleaning materials have to get there.
Although I don't like them very much I use nose drops to keep the nose unblocked. Aeration is important and debris has to be able to come out and transport virus and bacteria with it. One just has to be aware that nose drops can be addictive and can cause congestion when overused. So when the cold is gone, see to get rid of them as quickly as possible.

Inhalation! Steam is a really good cleaning material for every cavity. One either can take a bowl with hot (not boiling) water with a camomile tea bag, some rosemary, sage and/or thyme twigs, hang the head above the bowl with a towel thrown over the whole set up to create a tent. And then breathe and enjoy. Or you can get a device from a pharmacy which consists of a bowl where the water goes in, and a top bit with a nozzle kind of thing to put the nose into. With the ball one can puff a bit of air into the water so that steam rises through the nozzle. I personally don't like that thing because I tend to not keep it upright when sitting comfortably - with the result that the water keeps pouring over me since the two parts of it are not properly sealed against each other. Or you can do my brutal method of using a knob of VapoRub, a glass half full with hot water and a bunch of tissues - you will need them, believe me. It's a bit of a killer therapy, but the only one that really works for me. Once the VapoRub is in the water, take a deep slow breath in with one nostril blocked, breath out through the mouth and not above the glass to not blow the vapour away. Then it's the turn of the other nostril, and then breath in through the mouth. Do three to four times. By then the eyes are watering like a waterfall, one is sniffing and coughing and the vapours are gone. It sometimes is really hurtful when there are infected areas. But I go through with it thinking: Die you bastards! It usually is a bit messy to get rid of the glass with the oily stuff in it. So I put the spoon with which I put it into the water - use the wrong end, it's easier to handle - I put this spoon back in and let the water cool down. Then a thin layer of the rub base can be lifted off the surface and wiped off with a tissue, the rest is just plain water. I try to do this twice a day.
Tongue Cleaning! Oh well, nobody said that this is a nice subject. There are these ridiculous devices with which one is supposed to scrape off yukky bits from the back of the tongue. They were invented to prevent bad breath. The stuff that accumulates at the end of the reachable bit of the tongue usually doesn't come off from brushing teeth or using mouthwash and bacteria from food predigestion settle there and stink. Well, and this is a brilliant place for our viruses to take base camp. So be prepared for some gagging. BTW: I got mine from the dentist and it is metal. The plastic ones from the super stores were not really functional and are a bit wobbly and hard to manoeuvre.
Nasal Wash! That is the most disgusting thing of all. Wikipedia has it's own more sophisticated account, here is mine: The idea is to have water flowing into one nostril, from there into the sinuses and coming out the other nostril. Under certain conditions it goes the other way round and ends up in the throat. NICE! Especially if done with salt water, what is very efficient since none of the buggers (virus, bacteria, fungus even) like salt. Hence the craving for salty food. So there are these devices you can get from the pharmacy which work like a little syphon. One teaspoon sea salt (with no additives) dissolved in warm water. The lower end popped into one nostril, stay as upright as possible, breath through the mouth and wait for a bit - you'll see! Our bottle is rather good. It has a hole in the lid so it can be locked with a finger tip and with a bit of pressure the water flow can be adjusted. In the first picture it is upside down that is how I dry it. On bending the head towards one side, or when the outgoing nostril is blocked the water flows to the throat. It's horrible, but I always allow that for a bit so the salt gets everywhere. In the second picture it is locked, so no water comes out. To use, the green bit can be bent upward and a round knob to fit the nostril needs to be attached.

Well, it is all rather horrible, but it works. It's all better than ending up with a custard nose. However, best is to not get a cold at all.

Wishing you a healthy winter season!

From Strength to Freedom

First published 2007

At age 16 I was cute and sexy, so I was told – I thought I had fat ankles and bum. At age 21 I was through with several diets and still thought the same, always aware of my flaws. Looking back from now – gosh, I was cute and sexy – should have enjoyed it while I had it. Despite my worries I even joined the 80s mainstream and visited nude beaches and pools. Blissful times – bless us!

So I saw this cute boy at the beach. The haircut hilarious – his dad’s homemade scissor craft almost spoiled his chances – but that rear and these shoulders, …ahhh, and he was so young. How could I ever think that he would be interested? But he was!

We fell in love head over heals and I couldn’t understand that the one thing he loved most was my bum. I had these brilliant boobs at that time - not too big, not too small – and this guy was after the one bit I hated most, the one thing that was always in the way and didn’t allow me to wear nice clothes because they just wouldn’t fit.

Now we are married for more than a quarter of a century and until a few years ago I still didn’t believe him. He supported me through so many diets, although telling me that they weren’t necessary. He became chubby with me and now slim again – not by diet, though – and he claimed throughout that the rear is my best bit. Well the boobs have gone south meanwhile, so they don’t count anymore, but I find that the rear drifted the same direction – so, what’s to like about that?

Obsessions! Mirrors, windows, glass doors – staring at my image whenever possible, then getting depressed, like a self fulfilling prophecy.

Depression followed by food, getting fatter, depression, pretending to like myself because one has to pretend that these days: ‘I love my body the way it is!

‘NO,’ -  for crying out loud – ‘I DON’T’. I hate it, it has pains everywhere, I can’t do what I want to do because I’m breathless and stiff, a few more years and I will be in my menopause, then things might spiral out of control – panic mode!

At age 40 the decline got steeper. Why on earth does it always have to come to the worst before one actually does something about it? I could have saved me the depressions, the back pains, the lack of breath. And I could have saved me this staring around at parties in the hope to find at least one woman who looked more pathetic than I did.

I know, I know – there are people out there who have it worse. I know! I had everything I ever wanted: house, husband, part time job, garden, friends, ... But that is exactly what made it so bad. I had nothing in particular to complain about and was unhappy nevertheless. Meanwhile food had become the best of my friends. To whom can you talk about such a silly thing? People might just think I’m bonkers?

At age 43 eventually I found my path. It was right there in front of me, all these years. Remember his nice rear, and his shoulders? He was a bodybuilder. Not one of the meaty mountains. No, more like the Davidoff fragrance advert guy. And he taught me everything about it. I had worked out on and off, but never made it my way of living. Now I gave it a go and, … the result turned out to be a little bit different from what I had expected.

All my life was about belonging - even going to nude beaches. Gosh, everybody went there, no big deal – actually it was for me, but I never would have admitted to that. All the moaning about ‘I want to be able to wear this or that!’ and all the laments on ‘I need to look slim for this or that event!’, it is all about fitting in, isn’t it? We need to belong: ‘Oh, I so much wanted to belong’. I could have invented ‘BELONGING’. And then something amazing happened: I got muscles! Real ones! And I love them. It’s like creating a sculpture. I am in control. Eventually I am in control. What a great feeling!

AND…I am in control AND I am strong! I can do anything I want to! I am independent! The strength radiates into everything. I dare doing things I never dared doing before. All of a sudden ‘belonging’ is not an issue anymore. ‘Belonging’ is restrictive, what I want now is ‘FREEDOM’.

At age 46 I definitely don’t belong anymore. Some people look at me not really sure what to think – it makes me smile. Others, strangers approach me in the street to congratulate me on my shape - it fills me with happiness. Not wanting to belong anymore was one of the best decisions I’ve ever taken, apart from marrying my darling husband. Now I’m free to achieve whatever I want!

You Can't Cheat the Sandman

Some more thoughts about Christmas time. First published in 2008.

Two weeks ago I went shopping and came across a great offer on Panetone cake, this simple yet delicious Italian Christmas sponge cake. Well, one could make one from scratch - not that I ever tried, although I found a recipe - but I bought mine. What a good idea for an afternoon tea with the ladies, so I thought... Well, it's gone! I ate it... all of it... the whole kilo in 3 days!

I'm embarrassed, but it was soooo good. Firstly this is my favourite type of cake, and it's only on the market around Christmas. Secondly it keeps very well .. . OK, apparently not in my house, but generally you can keep it for about half a year.  So this cake is a great bargain.

There was just one thing that puzzled me: It was not THAT time of the month, and I thought I had learned to control myself rather well. Hmm?! I was fairly tired at that time though, only sleeping 5-6 hours per night, Detlef mothering me already: You should sleep more, that's not good for you,... Yeah, well I know!! But..!!!

However I couldn't help but think that the more I got tired, the more I was chomping away on this cake, wondering if there might be a connection. I remembered previous occasions where I just insisted on burning the candle from both ends and actually should have lost weight from all the activities, but got fatter instead. Then Detlef told me about something he had heard on the radio 'See, told you so!' style. Good girl that I am, I researched it with his help and it was broadcast on 'BBC2 Radio – Chris Evans drivetime, 22/11/07'. Dr. Adam Carey gave an interview on the effects of lack of sleep and this is what I understand from it:

It is one of the things where the body chemistry comes into play. There seem to be two chemical effects taking place due to lack of sleep.

Firstly, not sleeping enough means that cortisol, the bodies stress hormone, is rising. The body goes into energy saving mode when under stress ('starving' or 'high impact cardio exercise' - and apparently 'lack of sleep'). It means that the body takes energy from easily accessible sources like blood sugar and muscle, rather then bothering to attack the fat depots. When awake it demands fresh energy in form of being greedy for carbohydrates, or in my case: Panetone! And being still tired this is hard to resist anyway. Hence weight gain rather than loss, despite the active lifestyle.

Secondly, the levels of growth hormones are falling. Those are build while sleeping and are needed for all the repair work the body has to do. If growth hormones are low, the effect of exercises is wasted. Training is supposed to impose some kind of micro-damage on the muscle so that the body feels the need to repair and thus strengthen. With low levels of this hormone, on muscles will not grow despite the exercise. To cut a long story short:

Lack of sleep means more greed for calorie rich food, destruction of muscle tissue, restricted re-build of new muscle tissue, which altogether is resulting in a physically weak body with growing fat depots.

Yeiks!

Off you go ladies, have a nap, sleep your seven hours per night, see to get to bed before midnight - it's not just about beauty, it's about well being, fitness, lifestyle - everything! Start your time management by planning your sleep and then work backwards through the day. Be religious about it. It's for a good cause and your kids will learn from you. Hey - what a great excuse that is!

My new motto:

You can't cheat the Sandman!

Body and Mind

First published in 2007

There might be - no, I'm sure there will be - a lot of you disagreeing with what I'm about to say, and if I were face to face to you, you might be shouting by now. I'll say it anyway: I do not think that there are spiritual or esoteric things going on. It is all down to chemistry!

This doesn't make our bodies less magnificent: A single bad word from someone you don't even know can throw you into utter dismay while a stranger smiling at you in the street can make your day. Tiny signals we read from other people or our environment using our eyes, ears and noses indulge our bodies in a vast stream of chemical substances giving us feedback in form of feelings instantly, and some of it will happen on a subconscious level, so we might not even know why all of a sudden the mood is swinging.

The legacy of the ancestors ...
This is the legacy of our ancestors, who had to develop a refined feedback system in order to survive. Emotions created due to the release of chemicals are transformed into movement of the muscles at a speed which is actually rather mind-boggling. Robert Winston who is a very well known scientist once described the way we have evolved from our ancestors in a marvellous BBC TV-series called 'Human Instinct - how our primeval impulses shape our modern lives'. It is available as book as well, and also describes why some of the things we inherited are backfiring now.

A good example of how thinking the right thoughts can release the right chemicals for fulfilling a task, is playing golf. Since my husband started to play golf and I gave it a try for one summer as well, we noticed that our bodies respond to thoughts very instantaneously. It is something that  golfer all over the world will confirm:

Imagine a lake in front of you with some shrubs behind it. The task is to play the ball over the lake. There are three ways of thinking about it:

1. 'Oh great! Please not into the water' - The ball will quite definitely hit the water, because that is the image your brain is focused on: The water!

2. 'OK, let's do this, play over the water' - Better already, but there still is this image of water existent.

3. 'I want to hit that shrub with the purple flowers' - That is the one to go for. Use a phrase that takes the Angst-item out of the equation.

Adrenalin levels will go down, the eyes will measure the distance and send the respective chemicals to adjust the muscle power, and all will be well. OK, your ball might be stuck in the rough now.

That's how our ancestors survived and evolved. The ones who had the best internal drug adjustment achieved certain goals faster and more consistently, had more successful offspring, and got better through tough times; the others went down.

... and the civilised lifestyle
Pity just is, that our world has changed too quickly for our bodies to adapt to the modern civilisation. Our ancestors had fewer resources, and whenever they found carbos they had to stuff themselves, and that's why we recognise carbohydrate rich food instantly and like it so much. Carbos had to taste good so one would enjoy overeating on the randomly found resource and the fat depot would help bringing them through the next famine. Only that carbos are not random anymore, and we never have a famine.

We have lost the intuition and the naive approach on how to live our lives because we got overwhelmed by the enchantments of the modern world. If we could re-discover the rules by which the body plays it's game we could come a bit closer to understand what some call 'Spirit' or 'Mind', and what I like to call 'My Chemicals'. And it would allow us to decide more easily when wallowing in vice is OK, and when austerity is the motto of the day.

Get in control
Another reason why I like this 'Chemicals' approach is because they are part of the one big game. We might not have understood all the reactions that are going on, but whatever happens: It implies that the body consists of intertwined parts which all have their role to play. The 'Body & Spirit', 'Body & Mind' approach implies that there are two entirely different sides of  the same thing, one heavy and routed on the ground, and the other rather light and not easily to be located. It implies that those parts can be treated separately, and that they have to be put into some state of balance, as if they could be kept on different sides of a scale.

Already the language which I intuitively chose, implies that the body and the mind are handled... treated from the outside, to MAKE them behave a certain way, whereas the chemicals DO their bits and we might want to take measures to enable them to do better. To find my spirits - how do I do that? Calm down my mind - again, how am I supposed to do that when my hormones are playing havoc? But thinking in chemicals: They are mine, I am in a feedback loop with them, we are one.

If I feel sad I look sad, and if I feel happy I smile.

However: If I make a sad face I will become sad, and if I make a funny face I will feel happier. Again: This confirms the feedback loop I mentioned before. Visible signs of  emotions are created either by sensors like noses, eyes, ears and skin creating chemicals making muscles move a certain way, or moving the muscles a certain way can create the emotion without the trigger of an external sensor. And that means that WE are in charge of our own bodies, by feeding it a certain way, by keeping a particular posture  and by moving it, we have direct influence. No other person, guide, or instrument can take away emotional pain, but you yourself. You can put yourself in charge, and by supporting your body's chemistry you have direct influence on taming your demons.

Still not for the squeemish!

Follow-up on 'From Fluff to Buff ' and 'From Fluff to Buff - The Sequel'


Hands up! Who knows a place where the following comes together:

• Warm water,
• Good light,
• Towels on a hanger without getting wet,
• Mirror, preferably magnifying,
• Enough space to do the weirdest of stretches,
• Privacy,
• Glasses which don't slip of nose while doing stretches?

I am working on solving this riddle since beginning of 2008 now and still haven't found a solution that satisfies me entirely. I am talking about body hair. I am not getting any younger for crying out loud - I am not as bendy and half blind. But that doesn't mean that I will put up with it!

My first article about this issue produced a rather detached list of the various forms of hair removal. I tried to be open, however... hmmm sort of 12A approved. But I am telling you, I am now soooo close to using all the swear words I know!

After having researched all the more non-invasive options like creams, shaving, and epilating I moved on to waxing and then decided that this is all not working for me. All those methods don't solve the problem for good: I wanted to see those hairs dead as a dodo! Hence a while later my article on laser treatment.

Oh it did work, laser is great - a wee bit hurtful but great and worth every penny. I got so used to the fact not having to bother anymore, that I am now furious because it seems that the older I get the more this devilish body feature is fighting back. The fact that I keep coming back to the subject only shows the determination of this force of nature. Girls if you ever made jokes about women with a 5 o'clock shadow or a goatee - be aware that this might be you in a few years time - I am herewith pleating: Guilty!

And talking about the areas which are not instantly visible... you are thinking bikini... think a bit further; the above list of requirements is not the product of a sick brain, but well thought through. Will it end one day? I hope so! I cannot imagine myself giving up on the wish for the clean shaven look, whatever age I might get to.

Keep the laser hot ladies!

From Fluff to Buff - The Sequel

First published in January 2008

When I wrote the last comment on this issue, saying that I would get more info about laser treatment I meant something like: Pulling through with the waxing as planned, going in holidays and when I would be back, then... I might give the clinic which Kelly recommended a call.

Well, once I had uploaded this IL-edition I thought: Stop! What am I doing here? I'm always telling you to take action when you don't like the way things are going and I'm unnecessarily delaying things. Doesn't hurt to contact them!

Thus, true to our motto: Get the bum up and DO something, I actually put my bum down back on my chair and wrote these guys an email asking for a quote for the whole lot: Legs, bikini and under arm. And right after New Year I got a response from Health Counts Skin Laser Clinic.

Ooompf, can we talk about prices a bit later, please?! It is definitely something one has to save up for.

The information sheet that was attached as well confirmed all what I had read from other sources so I was confident enough to give them a call. ... and a minute later or so I had an appointment for consultation and patch test.

So that's how this works:

* You go there and fill in a usual patient form, from where they assess your health condition - it is going to be an invasive procedure after all. At least they ask you for everything which might cause the laser to have a different effect on the skin. E.g. they asked if I use St. John's Wort. That stuff makes the skin more sensitive to light. Well, laser is very intense light, so they need to know all these things.

* In the consultation you tell them what you want to have done and they will assess you skin/hair type.

This is essential in order to find out how well it will be working on you, and thus determining your personal risk. From that the best initial laser setting is derived. The laser is using a physical effect which can easily be explained by the effect the sun has on different surfaces. We know that dark surfaces get searing hot very quickly while white ones stay cool much longer. So the laser will burn everything dark much quicker than everything white. The idea is that the laser light heats up the dark hair much quicker than the surrounding area, leads the energy accumulated right into the root of the hair and kills it off, so that back growth is not possible.

Now, skin/hair wise there are 4 combinations possible:

• dark skin , dark hair: Laser goes after both
• dark sin, blond hair: Laser goes after skin
• fair skin, blond hair: Laser is basically not working
• fair skin, dark hair: Laser goes after hair

Obviously one is not interested in having skin burned. So if the skin is dark, the contrast is not very high for the laser to focus on the hair and thus not the best outcome will be achieved, while blond/white hair doesn't take in the energy and can't be treated.

It's best if the skin is fair and the hair is dark. And yippie, That's me!

* Then the patch test. In this clinic the patch test is charged £20 (January 2008) and they tested all the areas I was interested in. The test is to see how the chosen laser setting works and what the effect on the treated skin is.

I have to say, the atmosphere there was lovely. A lot of giggling and a very sensitive approach to the whole matter. Everything neat and clean and spa like. The girls there are all very sweet.

Little crayon squares were drawn onto the skin, a picture taken of the area for the records and then the laser came into action... and I was surprised! This thing is blowing cold air what is very nice - and necessary. Areas like the knees feel rather pin-pricklish: However, who had a wax in this area or used an epilator knows what pain is. This was nothing close to it. Well I'm writing this before the real treatment, so I may want to amend that statement at a later stage...

There is one thing to be aware of: The smell of burnt hair. Not all to bad, but it is there. I felt a little bit like a German Christmas goose. They don't lose their feathers easily and bits and pieces usually get smouldered off before preparing them. A bit of a weird recollection of childhood Christmas days, while lying around being rather exposed.

* Well that was it really, a bit of Aloe Vera gel and a bit of reddening, however not as bad and itchy as from waxing. Areas where the clothes pinched the skin while driving home got a bit hot, but not unbearable at all.

Another difference to waxing is that the dead bit of the hair that is stuck in the skin is visible as a little black dot. So it needs a bit longer than a day to look plain. It's funny, actually. If you touch it you expect a stubble, but it is smooth. So as the skin exfoliates those dots come off and the skin looks neat - forever!

* Several treatments will be needed, though - depending on skin/hair type, hormones and a few other things. At any time we have hair roots which are sleeping. As no hair is there to lead the heat into the root to destroy it, this little bugger will stay alive and wake up after a few weeks and grow a hair - but not for long! It is estimated that with my skin type I will need a minimum of 4 treatments for each area (most websites say 4-6 treatments in average).

So I paid my £20 pounds ... and made an appointment!

Come on, it makes sense!

Following through with the last waxing session would be silly as it is weakening the roots, and for laser you need them to grow strong healthy hair - for one last time!

And I'm not getting younger either. I haven't found greys on my head only, you know? Have a bit of a panic mode setting in...

Well, that's the moment to talk about money. It will be my next birthday, and Christmas, and birthday, and Christmas gift - at least, and a bit more. If I compare it to 6 weekly waxing sessions, then I have to live at least for another 10 years to make that worthwhile.

But imagine! Never, ever again pain, cuts and pinches from shaving/waxing, money to be paid, time to be spent! No itching or ingrown hair, and no more: "steam room , ooompf sorry, hehe, probably next time". Never again: "Sh.. Sun is burning from the sky - no skirt today"

Bliss!

I just HAVE to give it a shot.

So I'm running on countdown now. In order to have the hair at the right length I was told to shave on Sunday, promptly resulting in a couple of cuts... Grrr! And on Wednesday I will face 3 hours of laser treatment.

If I survive you will find an addition after this very sentence otherwise - there might not be a new publication. Well, I will at least ask Detlef to press the button.

17:40PM on Wednesday and I'm still alive and in one piece after two and a half hours of laser bzzz... Two ladies took turns with the laser, and the poor things must have nightmares as it makes a beep with every beam - and that were a lot of beams during this session.

Under arms (axillae) are done in a jiffy, if you wanted to have those done you are out before you really got in. Well I'm not very hairy, but still - it's quick and not very hurtful.

Bikini: Well, the more they get to the middle the more it pricks. Unfortunately the coarsest hair sits where the most nerves are gathering and the skin only just covers the bone. So not really pleasant, but bearable. The laser is moved from spot to spot and they work back and forth towards the areas that hurt most, so that those don't accumulate the pain too much. And by the time you finished thinking about what you are doing there it's already done.

The lower legs are a bit of a different matter. My left one hurts more than the right one and it was rather pin pricklish. Again bearable, however some beams took me by surprise.

The most important bits I found:

It definitely helps to feel comfortable with the team, especially when going for the whole lot. It is quite a bit of intimate time spent together. And the girls from Health Counts Skin Laser Clinic I can really recommend.

To have a positive attitude helps. You should be absolutely sure that this is what you really want. I wanted this to work so much that I actually didn't really bother whether or not it did hurt. I guess the bigger pain will be felt on hubby's credit card.

The pain is only lasting for this very brief moment of the beam. It is rather likely that the next beam doesn't hurt and as the laser moves on, the pain is already gone (although this depends on the skin/hair colour and the coarseness of the hair as well). Only if a lot of painful beams come in a row it becomes uncomfy, but the ladies knew exactly how to move the laser to get a good mix of beams.

Astonishingly enough, now after 2 hours or so I don't feel a thing under the arms or around the bikini area (had expected that to be the worst bit), but the lower legs are a bit itchy - a bit like after waxing or like a sunburn that starts peeling. I have a cream that is used for burns which is rather soothing. Aloe Vera gel works fine a s well.

You will not be 'beautiful and smooth' instantly. Every smouldered hair leaves a blotch and a dark spot. After a 5-6 days (so I was told) I can start using exfoliating creams. The old dead hair will start coming out of the skin and everything that helps (shaving, exfoliating, plucking) is ok.

Apparently the under arms and the bikini will have the first sleeping roots to wake up, leg roots seem to sleep a bit longer. So I will have the next session just for those two areas in 4 weeks time and have them checking when the legs will need doing.

Most of the clinics I found do a '6 for 5 treatments' deal, or similar. However, given that I wanted to have everything done in one go this amount of money would have been quite a commitment. Some areas might need less treatments altogether, thus I'm paying as I go along. Although that means gambling it. If it would turn out that need 6 sessions for each area than I will have lost money. But given my skin type I felt that I can risk it. So get all the price options and take them home. Don't take this decision during the consultation. It needs thinking through, and the patch test might give you some hints as well.

Be aware that you should use full sun block in order to stay as pale as possible before and between treatments. It might not be a good idea wanting to start after your summer holidays.

So that is it for now. The itching is easing down as I write, and I feel very confident that I will have a great holiday (in 12 days time) with smooth skin and without having to take heavy shaving gear. I'd rather opt for some fancy shoes to make my luggage heavy.

I will keep you posted and I hopefully I will have pictures when things are finished, as I will get hold of the before and after pictures they are taking.

Talk to you soon!

Update on waxing

26th December 2007

Follow-up on 'From Fluff to Buff'

Well, initially I wanted to wait with a further comment until the 3 waxing sessions are over, but I think I already came to a conclusion, now that the 2nd session has been done.
For starters: The waxing sessions are just fine, Bikini line is still a bit ouch, but the second time round the skin was less itchy and the knowledge about what to expect definitely does help. It is as if it releases tension from the skin and the hair is released easier. Additionally I got me some Aloe Vera gel what helps soothing. So on the 2nd day after treatment the skin was spotless.

The Verdict

+

I love the smoothness. There is no shaving that comes close to it. With dark hair and fair skin eventually all the shadows are gone: Definitely want that!

+

I love the not having to bother. I now realise how much time I need for shaving. Definitely want that!

+

It is not as expensive as I would have thought. £25 (legs and bikini) every 6 weeks seems ok to me.

-

It is said that one has 3 weeks of smooth bliss. Well, it might be just me, but after 2 weeks I get the first shadows and some ingrowth, especially on the bikini line. So for me it's: 2 weeks of bliss, 1 week during which I just get away with it in the open, 1 week during which hubby still gets to see me, and then 2 weeks of fur ball horror.

I expect that further sessions might make the hair look more faint, so that the 'hubby gets to see me' phase will extend towards the end of the 6 weeks, but given that I do a lot of sport, hang around in changing rooms - see comment below - and like to go to the steam room after work-outs: I don't think that's gonna work for me!

However, I'm sure that waxing is perfect for people who are more fair haired and probably have less than me anyway, and who don't have their lifestyle preference on sport, or sport where one tends to expose those particular body parts.
It is definitley worthwhile to time it for holidays or special occasions. I'm looking forward to my smooth legs on the beach - YaY!

But definitely look for an experienced waxer. The more broken hair the higher the risk of ingrowth especially around the bikini line (for some reason hair is particularly stubborn there, hence the more 'ouch!').

Further Plans
I'm determined now to explore the laser treatment option. Definitely not cheap, definitely not painless! However, I read a bit about it and found that I may be a perfect candidate. The bigger the contrast between skin and hair colour the better the results. Not working at all on grey! So I should hurry to find out before it's too late. Ladies, I'm telling ya, old age is trying hard to catch up on me. Well, so far I could out-smart it!

From Fluff to Buff

First published October 2007

Oh my God, look at her legs! Like a Gazelle ... as hairy!

Whenever there is something on the telly about hair removal: I’m clinging to it! It is a rather queasy and a bit of a scabrous subject and whenever somebody is talking openly about it I’m not to miss it, by no means!

What on earth is it about body hair? We are breeding pigs with an additional rib, have eradicated a lot of diseases, carrying fake boobs, have been on the moon and had all sorts of great achievements – but we still are squeamish about body hair and we still don’t know how to get rid of it.

The last TV show, depicting a lot of ingrown hair, and painful faces left me as clueless as all the others before. So let's see what remedies there are on the market.

Cream

I used hair removal cream once, about 100 years ago and back then it was a rather messy and smelly affair. If one is to believe the adverts at the telly, then these days it's nothing but fun to use these nice and girlishly wrapped chemical concoctions. I bought this pack in a desperate moment when I didn't have my varifocals yet and thus couldn't read the label in the store. At home it felt like reading the blurb of a very dangerous medication and hence that stuff stayed in its wrapper. I heard that some of you have good results with it, though!

Shaving

It’s OK, apart from the fact that after a few hours you feel like a hedgehog and after a day you look like one – especially if you have dark hair and fair skin.

Wet shaving is messy, although smoother. Dry shaving is quicker although the whole neighbourhood knows what your usual grooming hours are, and whether you have shaved today or not, and from the amount of swearing and choice of words they might even be able to guess which parts you have been treating.

This all makes one particularly ill at ease during holidays, where one might share a log cabin, apartment or even worse a room with people who are in the best of cases friends in the worst merely acquaintances. Can’t happen to me anyway as I refuse this sort of holiday arrangement - but this is worth another story!

BTW: If you are dry shaving – use baby powder. That doesn’t harm the shaver, but keeps the skin dry. Desperation made me research the websites of the adult scene. I thought if those ladies don’t know how it’s done, then nobody knows.

However having decided for the shaving option a while ago, I usually travel with heavy gear: Dry shaver for quick access and stray hair, plus a bottle of shaving foam in case the power adapter doesn’t work, or in case one should have a bit of time to achieve a smoother finish, or in case sunburn makes dry shaving impossible, although wet shaving is no fun then either.

Epilating
It is plucking, although not with tweezers, but with a machine working like 20 tweezers at a time. The noise is even worse than a shaver and very distinct. Using a dry shaver you might be able to envision that neighbours hopefully might think that hubby has a really manly beard growth. Not so with an epilator.

The idea is to get the hair ripped from the root so that it grows back thin tipped, and that more and more roots get destroyed from the torture so that it won’t grow back at all. Some of them come with an ice pack to be somehow attached, wich I never managed to do properly, and of course this thing is never in the freezer when you need it. Or if it is, then you are already butt naked ready to go for a nice bathroom session when you remember that you forgot to get the icepack from the kitchen.

Tried it – not working for me, although a friend of mine has great results with it. But in my case too many hairs get broken off, and after 2 weeks there are hairs growing of all length so that I’m epilating every day to keep up with the irregular growth. Some of them are breaking below the skin surface and that’s the nasty ones which tend to grow in. Strong and sharp and sometimes a bit curled from ripping them, like these gift bows which start curling up when pulled over a blade, the hair starts growing into all sorts of directions. I have an epilator for appropriation – just in case you were interested…

Electrolysis
Heat is applied into the root of the hair and kills it. Some say it’s painful some say it’s not. It surely is expensive and the hassle is to find a place where you can trust the people who do it, as they have to be well trained. It seems to be time consuming as a lot of sessions are needed to treat a whole body, but given that after that you never ever have to bother again … ?
However, for me that has the smell of surgery and hence it would be a last resort.

Laser
Same as Electrolysis really, just the means of applying the heat is different. Laser sounds a bit more modern and it does hurt. I know that some say it is not bad, but I saw a lady on the telly having the treatment and she WAS in pain. I think there might be a time where I would have to write another article comparing Laser to Electrolysis, but for now – it’s a last resort as well.

Waxing
Oh well, I thought it’s nothing different from epilating. Hot (actually: warm) wax is applied and then some paper strip which binds together with the wax is applied and then pulled off, hopefully taking all the hair with it. But in the light of my upcoming beach holiday end of January, and after another disastrous shaving session which turned out to be only half thorough despite spending ages in the bathroom – I have to have the sun coming in from a specific angle, what happens about twice a year - I decided to brace myself and to have a chat with Kelly, my lovely beautician about the following.

Like with the epilating the hair is to be pulled from the root and thus the back growth will have a fresh thin tip which will not grow in but straight out – at least in theory. Apparently the statistic is that epilating misses too many hairs and breaks them. That happens as well if your beautician is an inexperienced waxer. So the word of mouth game is very important in this case.

There is only one BIG hiccup with the waxing. The hair needs to be really long to get good results. She says that the worst thing for her is if a client comes two days before a holiday for a first wax and has shaved the week before. She just can’t do a good job in this case because the wax won’t hold grip. Due to ingrown hair, irregular growth from shaving and thus not catching them all during the initial session, she needs 2-3 sessions to have them all come off the roots, and then having grown them back all the same length with thin tips in order to get a really good result.

So while I was enjoying my facial with some cotton pads on my eyes and seductive music in the background, I wrecked my brain to find out how many weeks there are until my holidays are due to start. She needs 6 weeks between sessions, I had shaved a week ago and looked disastrous already, and now she just told me that I had to wait another TWO WEEKS – Eeek!

But it was all so meant to be; once I appeared from underneath of all my fluffy towels, cotton pads and her soothing hands we eventually used her computer to count backwards. One session two days before I leave for hols, one right before Christmas and one mid November – and I’m not supposed to shave AT ALL.
However, at least autumn is the best time of the year to get started. Aren’t we all happy to wear trousers and boots again?

Well, we will have to see how it goes. At least I will have a great holiday without having to take any excess toiletries with me. After that I might bleach during the time the hair has to grow long enough for the next session and if that is not working for me, I might stick to my word then and research the last resorts a bit more.

Keeping you posted!